Some people decide to move in together before marriage, others wait until they are married to make such a big move. Moving in together is considered a big step in a relationship. A lot of times, it has to do with religion and having that complete freedom with your partner before you are married. Other times, it is because the couple is expecting or other financial reasons. Other times, it is just more convenient for both people.
Since moving in together is such a big deal, we asked a few people for their input on the topic. Christian Clemens, of Sunbury, said, “I mean, I need to know that I can live with a person without wanting to kill them or myself before I would want to enter into the eternal union of marriage”. According to the Pew Research Center analysis of 2002 and 2013-2017, it is now more common for couples to be cohabiting then to be married in adults ages 18 to 44. “It is a big deal and it isn’t. I was living with my husband before we got married, but there were only plans in place for our wedding. I would be alright with my daughter moving in with her boyfriend before marriage, but I would prefer it be with future wedding plans. I don’t want her to be stuck living with someone who doesn’t want to get married because they are already living together,” Says Lynn Schleig, of Paxinos.
Other surveys from the Pew research center state that marriage has declined since 1995, while cohabitation has risen. It seems to be more of a thing in today’s society than before. An article from Psychology Today asks if you should move in together or not. The numbers of cohabitation before marriage is up 34% from 1995. According to the article, “Compared to married couples, cohabiting couples argue more, have more trouble resolving conflicts, are more insecure about their partners’ feelings, and have more problems related to their future goals (Hsueh, Rhabar, Morrison, & Doss, 2009)”. On the other hand, brides.com states that “once upon a time, living with your significant other before getting married was extremely taboo. Nowadays, however, it seems that it’s taboo if a couple doesn’t live together before walking down the aisle.”
In the Pew Research article, it is mentioned that being married is a smaller percent of what men and women see as essential for living a fulfilling life. For men, it is only 16 percent. For women, it is 17 percent. The top priority for men and women is having a job or career that they enjoy. This explains why so many men and women are choosing just to skip marriage and move in together. They may see it ass the same amount of commitment and is a lot cheaper to do.
After all the mentioning of men and women choosing to move in together before marriage, there hasn’t been much said about age. The Pew Research article shows the age brackets of the people cohabitating before marriage in relation to how likely they are to have a successful marriage. The age group with the highest percentage that says they have a better chance in marriage is the age group of 18 to 29. Younger generations seem to be the ones who think it is better to live together before marriage while the older generations seem to get married first. This isn’t always the case, but this is what the numbers are leading towards.
According to the huffpost.com, associate professor Arielle Kuperberg from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro did a new study and found that “there is no correlation between cohabiting before marriage and divorce; instead, what may predict divorce in those who cohabitate before marriage is the age at which they choose to do so.” This leans toward the idea that the younger you are, the more naïve you may be. You may think that you have met the right person and just want to skip to living with them, but they turn out to not be the one for you. Eventually you get married because you are already living together and you end up splitting because you rushed into everything at such a young age.
It can be difficult to make these big decisions at such a young age. You may think you are ready for a big commitment because you really like your partner, but that doesn’t mean you are. It may also seem like a good way to see if your relationship is good enough to get married. Many people see it strictly that way. However, you should just be careful when rushing into marriage after moving in together because it seems as though that is where things could go wrong. Easing into cohabitation and then seeing where things go may be the best option.