By: Katianna Lapotsky
What is the number one thing you won’t give up in a relationship? According to a Pew Research Center report dated March 26, 2020, marriages have essentials. When we look at man vs. woman essentials to live a fulfilling life, the percentages come close every time. When we think about the need to have a comfortable lifestyle and operate smoothly, a career comes to mind. A number one stressor in marriages, as we know, is money! According to Huff Post finical concern is in the overall top five marriage stressors. By knowing you and your spouse have a consistent income, you can limit those late-night fights over making ends meet! And sleep peacefully knowing all is well.
When it comes to a career path, you constantly want to check in on your partner! You can ask questions like How was work? Did you enjoy your day? Is anything new going on in the office? As anyone in the working world knows, things can become stressful at times. Sometimes, when we aren’t communicating with our spouse, we don’t understand their stress-building. Having an unhappy partner at work can lead to the other person in the relationship feeling unloved or unnoticed. By being aware of your situation and feelings, you can beat one of the top five relationship stressors. My father, Christopher Lapotsky, now divorced from my mother, stated, “Your mom never understood what it was like to work from 12:00 am until 7:00 am and run on zero hours of sleep.”
Times are changing, and so are we! Thinking back to the saying we hear growing up, “It’s just the old school way to do things!” we see this way of life slowly left in the past. As a child, the first step is to get married, and the second step is to move in together, the third step is to have a child, etc. But today, we see step number two coming first for most, with 59% of adults being in a cohabited relationship.
The definition of cohabited relationship according to Dictionary Cambridge “If two people, especially a man and woman who are not married, cohabit, they live together and have a sexual relationship.”
Now that doesn’t sound old school to me? Welcome to modern-day life, where our world is adapting to what works best for you! Instead of feeling the social pressure to conform to what “everyone else does.” Today, people are more open to doing whatever works for them, which is a big step! Today we see the acceptance of same-sex marriage, interracial marriage, interfaith marriages, common-law marriage, and more. My mother, Lorelei Duke, now divorced and living in a common-law marriage, stated, “I never felt the need to remarry after my first marriage legally. I have lived with my partner for ten years, and it works. I guess we’re common-law married at the point.”
Check out The 25 different types of Marriage to learn about the many different types of modern-day marriage.
Who is that one person you turn to with everything good, wrong, and ugly? For 78% of married adults, they would say their spouse! Although it is hard to pick just one person that you feel you’re the closest with, your deep connection with your spouse is what holds your family together. If a husband and wife have a terrible relationship, how will they be the best parents, friends, adult children, or siblings for those important people in their life?
When marriages tend to fall apart, those within the couple’s circle also experience hardship. As a child of divorce, I have felt many feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, and anxiety due to the role model relationship I grew up watching.
Providing an excellent example of trust and love for your children will show through their relationships in their own adult life.
Click here to learn about Effect of divorce on children future relationships
Nobody likes to get the sticky end of the stick. The results show that when we look at how men and women operate household chores. Both genders agreed that no issue arose when their partner did more or the work split equally.
Think back to when you had to work with someone else on a school project. Did you ever get upset when someone in the group did more work? The answer most likely is no. Most people appreciate when others step up because it takes the workload off their shoulders. And even if this group member did an equal amount of the project, you would still be thankful it wasn’t all on you to finish how to take this same example and apply it to your relationship with your spouse or living partner. By thinking about situations from a different presentive, you can better understand how other people might feel or want you. If picking up a sock lying around will save you from a future fight, pick it up!